Category: Writers Block
hey guys, i wrote this story in my free time, see what yall think.
John walked slowly down the long, damp passage way. He could here the water dripping from the roof. He was trying to find the gold that was set in a room somewhere underground.
He had read about the treasures that were said to be there, and now his dream had come true.
John turned a corner and saw a black door in the wall. He tried to open it, but it was locked. no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't open it.
He swore under his breath and kicked at the door. It was made of metal, so he couldn't even kick it open. He looked around the handle, but there was no key hole. How could it be locked then.
He looked at the door hopelessly.
Then he saw a keypad with a button to the right of it on the door. There was a screen above it. He felt the screen, and it had braille letters on it. Written on the screen were the words: "Type the password, then press enter. If you require any assistence, press the button to the right of the keypad."
He pressed the help button, and a female voice spoke from the speaker. "Do you require any assistence?" She asked.
"Yes." Said john. "i need to collect the gold from the safe."
"Do you know the password?" She said.
"No i don't." Said John. "I know the password for the management office, tho."
"Then type that password. It's the same for this door."
John then typed the password: La Boncarz.
Suddenly, the door creaked open, and john stepped into the warm room. It was very quiet, and had the smell of a siggarette.
He stepped into the room, and then the door behind him closed. He walked across to the management office, and typed the password on the keypad. The door opened, and he stepped into the tidy office. The door then slammed shut, and he sat at the computer. The screen was displaying: "Ready."
John had read about the terminal, and how it could transport you to anywhere in the caves. It could also answer any question you asked it. He knew how to type the codes to actually run the commands.
At that moment, there was a knock at the door. The terminal screen flashed an immage of who it was. It was the person who worked at the help desk.
"Yes," said john. "We have taken an image of your face and recorded it on video. We have also found out that you are the rightful owner of this place. We all welcome you back."
John was confused. He had read about the missing owner of the underground caves, and now this mad woman was saying that he was the manager.
John didn't say anything, but he typed on the terminal keyboard: "Tansport to gold chamber."
All of a sudden, there was a tremendous rumble, and the ground vanished. He fell down, trying to catch his breath. He was going to die. he knew he was going to die...
He suddenly felt something soft under his feat. He stood up on the soft soft landing, stumbling forward. Three steps ahead, and he was walking on concrete. he felt around him. He was surrounded by walls in all directions, except behind him.
All of a sudden, he heard a slamming sound behind him. He turned to where the noise came from, and he felt a brick wall. The entrance had closed.
He suddenly felt springs below his feat, and he shot up. Something tied him onto some chains, and he turned 180 degrees and rushed forward. He tried to stop, but he couldn't. The chains were transporting him left, then right, then another right--he lost directions. He was wondering what was going on.
He then heard a robotic voice from above him say: "the gold is in your office. You will be transported back to the office." "What the hell is going on?" he shouted. the robotic voice said: "You hit a lever which scanned you. It then picked up your DNA and took a sample. you are the lost manager of the underground caves, and we gratefully welcome you back."
He suddenly found himself sitting on the chair in front of the terminal. he felt to the right of him, and there was a big chest there. As soon as he saw this, he typed on the terminal: "transport me home" and held on to the box.
John felt himself sink into his bed. the chest was to the right of him. he had a lot to think about--But not now. he got into bed and fell asleep, pondering over what happened.
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Hi Rob,
I read your interesting story, and the only question that comes to mind is: Why doesn't John remember that he is the owner of the underground caves? Does he suffer from amnesia or what? And what the hell does "La Boncarz" mean? I hope it's not just a password.
It's an interesting story, but I think you need to describe John a bit more.
Thanks for posting this.